My Top 3 Tips to Letting Go of the “All or Nothing” Mindset

#TBT Back to 2008 and the 2nd (of 5) Fitness America Pageants I competed in.


I used to say that these shows were “my marathon”. That’s what it felt like to me. Lots of training, discipline, and hard work, followed by a huge sense of accomplishment.

Unfortunately this is also when my “issues” with food and over-exercising began. After the show, I struggled find the balance between dieting for a show, and eating like a normal person. It was all or nothing, for a very long time.

Whenever I felt out of control with my eating, I just decided to do another show. It was my excuse to go back to following a strict meal plan…. when in reality, I just didn’t trust myself to figure it out on my own. The stricter and more restrictive, the plan, the better. I over-exercised and was completely consumed with how I looked, what OTHER people thought of how I looked, how much I weighed, what I was going to eat and how long I could spend in the gym.

What I did to get into “show” shape worked every time. But I could never keep it up, and I ended up feeling like a failure because I couldn’t stick to the plan. I would “slip”, then say “what the hell” and eat like crap until I would start again on Monday morning.

I know I say this all the time, and you very well may be sick of hearing about how crazy I was (am?) but honestly, diets DON’T work long-term. If they did, why are we as a nation so fat? We can walk into any bookstore and there are thousands of books on fat loss. Google “Fat Loss Meal Plans” and you’ll have millions right at your fingertips. If you don’t find something that works for YOU, something that you can do forever, it’s just not going to give you results that will last. The answers aren’t in a book. I don’t have them for you, YOU are the only one that can come up with your “Lean Routine”.

If you are exercising in a way that you know you either can’t maintain, or don’t want to maintain, it’s time to figure out another way. If the diet that you are on is giving you great results, but you would rather give birth to a porcupine than eat what is on your plan, it’s time to figure out another way, because sooner or later you will not be able to do it anymore – and then what? Back to square one with absolutely no tools to figure out what your body needs. Searching for another coach or trainer who will tell you, or sell you, what has worked for them.

Losing fat doesn’t come with any guarantees that you will keep it off. Actually, losing is probably the easy part! The challenge comes in maintaining it. Forever.

And you know what else? Losing fat doesn’t have to suck. It doesn’t have to feel like a “diet”, you don’t have to give up everything that you love, but it definitely does have to work for YOU, and there is nothing I love more than helping women who are willing, figure out what that is!

In my personal experience, as well as my experience coaching thousands of clients over the last 15 years, you really do have to change your mindset for lasting success. Let go of the “all or nothing” and begin to embrace the fact that small changes, done consistently, will give you lasting results. As my mentor Jill Coleman always says “All or nothing always ends up being nothing” and in my opinion, she couldn’t be more right.

 Here are my top 3 tips for letting go of the “All or Nothing” Mindset

 1. There doesn’t have to be a deadline!

 Just the THOUGHT of a deadline stresses me out. Believe me, you’ll be JUST FINE if you don’t lose the 5 pounds before the wedding, party, vacation (whatever it is)…and if you honestly think that you CAN’T be ok – well then any amount of weight loss certainly isn’t going to help you- because your self worth does not depend on what a scale says.

 Let go of the deadline. You have allllllll the time in the world to figure it out. Our bodies aren’t going to stop changing. Shit happens. Hormonal changes, lifestyle changes, possible injuries, family obligations etc… What we are all doing now will probably look a hell of a lot different in a year, 2 years, 5 years and what may work for us in terms of fat loss now, probably won’t work at some point. So we have to learn a little flexibility here. Otherwise we’re screwed.

 2. Please for the love of God, stop weighing yourself…or at least stop OBSESSIVELY weighing yourself, and at the VERY least, stop letting it ruin your entire day.

Does this sound familiar: “I’ve been SO good all week. I felt great. I ate very well, got in all of my workouts. I wasn’t going to weight myself, but I felt SO SKINNNY, so I figured, what the hell, and NOTHING. NOT 1 POUND”….day ruined. You see that number in your mind’s eye all day. Now all of a sudden you suck. You were JUST skinny like a second ago!! You let the scale ruin your day. You CHOSE to let it ruin your day. I spent way too many days in a funk because of that damn scale….I’m not going to lie and say that I will NEVER weigh myself again, but using other tools such as taking pictures a few times per month, trying on jeans every week (since I’m in lulu’s every day of my life) and taking measurements are doing the trick for me right now. If your gonna keep the scale in your life, at least give it a little competition!

 3. Last but not least – Pick just one thing to work on at a time. 

I know when you want to lose weight you want to go all out right away. Give it all up, workout everyday. It’s just not a smart move. Pick just one thing you will work on each week. Maybe you can start eating breakfast, or adding protein at breakfast. Maybe you can give up snacking after dinner, or adding in more walking into your day. Small changes go a long way, trust me.

I would love for you to join me, and over 100 amazing women, who have decided that they are ready to change their lifestyle AND their mindset.

New moms are getting results without having to spend hours out of their day traveling to a gym….

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Women are realizing that the scale doesn’t tell the whole story….

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Women are finding small changes that work for THEM. Their lifestyle, their preferences….

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The results have been awesome so far!

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But what I find even more important is how this program is really changing the way women are viewing their progress. The mental shifts that are happening, in my opinion, far outweigh any physical transformation, because those shifts will be what will create new habits and lead to lasting results.

Click here to find out more and to join today!

Membership will close on Friday August 29th!


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